I haven’t written in a couple weeks now, and then some. It is not out of ignorant neglect to my loyal followers out there, (for surely I have some!) but rather a silence tempered by the trying times of my recent endeavors. I am against putting forth anything negative, for the action itself would only serve to reinforce that desolate feeling. Better to live in the moment, take in the happiness that surrounds us, brush off the unfortunate turns of the past and look forward, to living the very next second of your life, with all the intended greatness you desire. (I’ve been studying buddhism lately, does it show?! Hahah)
I must admit though, even with getting lost in those books and trying to lead your life, your actions, and emotions, in a positive way, it is not always easy. We are all met with hard times in our lives, are we not? Whether it is a hard day, or a hard year. Being who I am, leading the life that I lead, I realize that my “problems” are very small indeed in the grand scheme of things. Still, they are there and I couldn’t help but let a deep pervading sense of melancholy sink in after knocking my head against the wall that is professional ski racing these past few weeks.
There was a day about a two weeks ago now where it seemed as if I stood upon a great precipice of emotional distress. On one side, there was deep uncaring, the other, a cacophony of shouting emotions. On this day I failed miserably on my seventh race in seven days, the previous six being of a like kind. One coach lamented on talents deeply hidden, while the other simply did not know what to say. Still another offered up the advice of seeing a psychiatrist, not knowing “what else to do with me.” By the end of this day I was hanging by my finger tips on that precipice, unwilling to fall one way or the other. Rather wishing to descend safely, to a base of my choosing, but it was hard to hold on that day.
I am well aware of the love and support that surrounds me as I continuously throw myself at this wall, trying to break through and make my dreams become a reality. I especially know this of my mentors! Sometimes though, your inner struggles are between you, and you.
I know I am not the only one in this boat. There are so many athletes, and people in general, who go through struggles everyday, not knowing if they will emerge on the other side. Echo’s of “tomorrow is a new day” are harder and harder to utter as each day brings more obstacles that give your resolve a new, solid, resounding blow. Still you get up, still you lift your head high, because no matter what pessimistic thoughts that are going through your head today, deep down you truly believe that there is another side to that wall. You believe that you will one day break through that wall, or crest that ridge, and when you look back to see all the struggle and strife that it took to get there, you’ll smile at how absolutely worth it it was.
I labeled this post The Struggles of an “Average” Person because to be better than average, to be something more than just okay, requires you to rise above the hardships of the past, to look forward to the future. live in the moment you are in now and make it perfect. It requires you to learn from the past, but not let it own you. Not let it smother you. To not be in want of future success, but to be assured that you are living life in the right way.
And to know that hard time will come to pass, but they will not last.
I hope to be more than “average” as far as my dreams are concerned, but that is for the future to decide. For now, I will look to this next second in my life, and tackle it with all the intended greatness I desire.